Episode 26: Hatoful Boyfriend – Everybirdie’s on Crack
Platform: PS4, PS Vita, PC, OSX
Release Date: Hurtful Complete Edition: JP 10/30/11, World Wide 2/15/12. Remakes released World Wide on 9/4/14 and 7/21/15.
Difficulty: Ummm…some of the full endings can be tricky to get? It’s a visual novel, difficulty doesn’t really apply.
Terra: HATOFUL BOYFRIEND WHAT A GAME
Lightning: Questions We Had While Playing Hatoful Boyfriend
Terra: HOW DO PIGEONS HOLD GUNS?
Lightning: Don’t ask me. They developed opposable thumbs?
Terra: Apparently, since they can also drive scooters.
Lightning: Let’s not even go there. Do they have some kind of prosthetic leg so they can hit the brakes?
Terra: Maybe they have hand breaks!
Lightning: You can spell.
Unlike this game.
Terra: Hey, it’s designed for birds, by birds, what do you expect. Pigeons probably translated it.
Do pigeons build buildings? Or have they moved into places humans abandoned?
Lightning: I saw some derelict skyscrapers in the game, so if they do, they don’t very well.
HOW DO PIGEONS USE COMPUTERS?
Terra: WING TYPING
They peck with their beaks?
How do they cook?
Lightning: They peck with their peckers? Uuuuuuuuuuugh, I went there…
Terra: You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.
How big are these pigeons supposed to be?
Lightning: It sounded like regular bird size.
Terra: Then how is the main character being threatened by birds? HOW DO YOU KILLED BY THE CREEPY DOCTOR IF HE IS NORMAL BIRD SIZED?
Lightning: DON’T ASK ME HOW A PATRIDGE CAN MURDER A TEENAGER. SHE COULD PROBABLY STOMP ON HIM
And what does the bird gang do to kill you? Fly in your damn face?
Terra: They don’t even seem to be flying at her!
Actually, I don’t think we see any of these birds fly.
Lightning: Maybe she dies of fear.
From their mohawks.
Terra: Ride scooters, go for hikes, swim…but no flying.
Lightning: I said moHAWKS. Get it?
The flying thing is bothering me? Does the game ever reference the birds flying?
Lightning: I think so…
Terra: I’m not replaying it to find out.
Lightning: But they don’t care. They love to swim.
Their wet feathers gets the main character hot and bothered, supposedly!
Terra: There are screenshots to prove it!
Lightning: I’m not replaying it either. Trophies are 100%. NO THANK YOU.
Terra: Hatoful BF has served its purpose.
Lightning: Its very shallow purpose,
Terra: It kept us entertained for a few hours. And ruined the Nutcracker.
Lightning: Argh, I’ll never enjoy the Nutcracker AGAIN.
Terra: You’ll always think of the creepy murder Dr.
Lightning: And I’ll start laughing hysterically if I hear Jingle Bells.
Terra: Why did this game use so much Christmas music? Was it cheap?
Lightning: Probably as cheap as this game. WHICH IS A GOOD THING.
Terra: Final question then: Was this game worth ten bucks?
RPG Roundup Theme Song: “Video Game Theme,” J. Arthur Keenes Band. Creative Commons Attribution License.
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy